One of the things that has always been dangerous for men is complacency. That’s true for me too – I’ve joked for a long time that I’m built for climbing big summits; I need to have a mountain to climb.
The mountain on my horizon right now is the Ironman Challenge, a full-distance triathlon series widely considered one of the toughest single-day endurance events in the world. This scares me for several reasons:
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I don’t swim
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I just got into trail biking
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I’ve done a lot of running but never marathon distance
And that’s exactly why I chose it — it’s a mountain enough to keep me moving, uncomfortable enough to keep me honest, and far enough out to keep me consistent in my preparation.
There have been times in my life and career where everything was easy, and those were the exact moments I was actively imploding. When my company was spinning like a top and there was nothing standing in the way of this hockey stick growth, I felt a little lost. I had too much time on my hands. And I started doing things that weren’t conducive to my health and wellness. That’s the Nietzsche quote in action — when a man has no summit to climb and no worthy battle to fight, his aggression turns inward.
Here’s what happened this week that drove that idea home for me.
First is my friend’s son, let’s call him John, is a very capable man with a highly-paid IT position. John drafted an 80-page strategy document for a federal agency. He was thorough and detailed. But when he left for the day, he came back to find that his strategy had been replaced by a ten-pager which his boss had run through a LLM AI, whittling down his hard work to the bare bones.
“This is what we’re going with.”, the boss told John.
How did John respond to this? This was a mountain looming in front of him – did he climb it?
Well, instead, John retreated into his office and washed his hands of the matter. He checked out, and so, he lost an opportunity to climb his summit. John accepted defeat. Really, he defeated himself – he turned his outrage inwards.
Second is my own son, Bryson, who just started working at AP Corp. He’s 15, and this is his first job. Bryson went through the full hiring process — application, interview (including critique from our general manager Josh), training, the whole thing. Bryson is learning how long it takes to earn a dollar on a fixed hourly rate, and the real value of money. He’s seen the value in his work, and he has integrity for it because he’s working towards a goal greater than himself or any sense of validation – it’s quite a simple goal too:
He wants to buy a new motocross bike!
He needs about $4,000, and nobody’s going to pay for it for him. So, he’s taken matters into his own hands — doing calculations I’ve never seen him do, figuring out how to earn what he needs. He went from a kid I couldn’t push into working to a young man in full problem-solving mode. Bryson is climbing his summit; and he’s keeping his external problem external.
These two very different responses showed me the full meaning of that quote, of retreat vs. confrontation. This is critical: Men, we must not retreat into ease or comfort. We’re men. We’re created to confront something bigger than ourselves. Often, that makes us a little uncomfortable. But when we have a mountain in front of us that’s worth the climb, we move upwards all the clearer, motivated to dial in our daily disciplines to reach the top.
This week’s lesson: Complacency is where the warlike man starts destroying himself.
